The First Look Part 2 | Education

The First Look Part 2

Two years ago I published a post giving 4 reasons why you should consider doing a first look. They were all great reasons, but I think the list was incomplete. This is still one of the number one questions I get from my brides, and I wanted to talk about it in a little more detail.

First, what is a first look? Call it a trend, but it’s a newer thing in wedding photography where the bride and groom see each other, fully wedding-ready, before the ceremony. It’s a private moment, and I usually set it up where the groom is facing away from the bride, she comes up and taps him on the shoulder, and he turns around to see her for the first time. I do take pictures during this time, but I also give my couples a few undirected minutes to just enjoy each other before we move into couple portraits.

Second, I want to share my experience. Stephen and I decided not to do a first look. I’m a traditional girl, and I never really considered it because it’s just not how things have always been done. But I wish someone had told me why a first look can actually be a really good thing!

*Side note: Doing a first look is not for everyone. If you’re planning your wedding and have thought about the pros and cons of a first look and decide you don’t want to do one, that’s TOTALLY fine. About half of my couples do a first look and half don’t and we make it work and it’s great. I just want everyone to at least think about it!

Anyway, Stephen and I decided not to do a first look. That meant that the first time Stephen saw me at all that day was when I was coming down the aisle. Grooms tend to be a tad nervous before they see their brides for the first time, and Stephen was no exception. Not seeing Stephen before the ceremony meant that all those nerves centered around our ceremony. Stephen was so nervous beforehand that he couldn’t really enjoy that time with his groomsmen. And then we got up there and all we could do was look at each other. (It’s generally frowned upon to kiss or hug during a wedding ceremony before you’re supposed to.) Yes I could see it on his face, but I had to wait 45 minutes for him to tell me how beautiful I was.

Let me paint a different picture. You’ve decided to do a first look, and you’re excited, but nervous too. You take a deep breath, walk up to your groom and tap him on the shoulder. He turns around and in that moment it’s just you and him. He can’t stop smiling at you, you’re definitely going to have to go touch up your makeup before the ceremony.  He hugs you and tells you he loves you and how beautiful you are. All the nerves melt away. You get to spend the next half and hour together during couple portraits. Then you get to have fun with your friends during wedding party portraits, and by the time you get to the ceremony you’re both relaxed and excited.

One of the questions I almost always get next is, “That all sounds great, but what about his reaction? Won’t his reaction during the ceremony not be as good as it would have been if he hadn’t seen me yet?” Maybe, but in my experience that’s not been the case. There’s something different about the ceremony. The moment you come down the aisle. It’s THE moment, and it’s special. Not because your hair and makeup are flawless and you’re wearing an amazing gown. It’s special and emotional because you’re getting married. You are getting married. And that’s true whether he’s seen you before or not.

Like I said before, a first look is not for everyone and that’s okay! I just wanted to share my personal experience in the hopes that it’s helpful to someone who’s in the middle of thinking through all of this.